my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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