This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
