I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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