you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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