How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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