so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
