No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
