What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
