i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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