Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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