It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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