i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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