he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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