So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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