There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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