She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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