Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
