Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
