make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
