If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
