He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
