My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
