It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
