can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
