You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
