So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
