i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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