I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
