remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
