You just made me feel so damn special
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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