Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
