I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
