I will die if light touches me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
