Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
