We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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