she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
