something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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