I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
sarcasm needs its own font
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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