but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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