DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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