She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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