i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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