Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
