ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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