sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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