just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Buhtt sex?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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