It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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