Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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