Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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