are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
