Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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