I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
