Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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