dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
