She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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