This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
