i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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